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Rant week continues thanks to news that Emmett/Furla films have picked up the rights to produce movies based on Hasbro games Monopoly and Hungry Hungry Hippos in addition to the toy Action Man. I guess the stunning success of Battleship this summer has prompted a run on board game movie adaptations. For those who didn’t know, Battleship cost $209 million+ to make and only took in $65 million in the US. That is what we call a BOMB.

I can see where Monopoly could make a movie. Kind of. Throw some Gordon Gekko-type cat to mix it up, have him buy up a bunch of properties against the odds and you’ve got a movie. But for the life of me , I can’t figure how Hungry Hungry Hippos could even remotely be translated to the big screen unless E/F give David Lynch a pound or two of pancakes laced with bath salts and let him run with it. Hell, I’d even go see that movie. The Hippos would be eating white cantaloupes that transform into a mime version of Robert Blake who would be licking curtains while singing Mario Lanza tunes through a Darth Vader voice translator. Damn…I may just write the thing myself.

Do these companies like failure? They must, right?

This will be easy to turn into a movie, right? Is William Goldman available?