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goonies posterI have been waiting for this to situation to clear itself up before posting about it, but it appears the smoke has cleared and Richard Donner is moving forward with a sequel to The Goonies with Steven Spielberg, the original producer who also has the story credit from the original film, in hand. According to Corey Feldman via Twitter (sigh), this project is starting to get some legs. For better or worse. This could easily be another, “they are whoring out my childhood” post of which I’ve had a few in the past. I’m not going to go that route, however. Yes, I think this sequel is beyond ill-advised and enough to make me scream. Any fan of the original I would hope feels the same way. Let’s face it, the time for the sequel is past. Do we really want to see an old ass Mikey? I don’t. Corey Feldman is way too burnt out to recapture the beauty of Mouth. I, however, am always up for more Martha Plimpton in any way we can get her.

Goonies 25th Reunion

Goonies cast at the 25th Reunion

The magic of the original film was that it was kids taking charge of their own destiny outside of the adult world to make shit happen. If the sequel were to have happened, it should have happened back in 1987 or 1988 when they could still capitalize on that same feeling. To me, with the Goonies all as adults in the coming sequel (let’s hope it falls apart), it rings pretty hollow. I don’t know the storyline, but I am skeptical at best. Perhaps the thing that is most clear in all of this is how creatively bankrupt Steven Spielberg has become. When was the last original film he did? War Horse, which was a bomb (war pun intended).  Hell, Schindler’s List was the last decent movie he made, although the first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan were really great. He’s given us one shitty Indiana Jones sequel with another likely shitty one on the way, a Lifetime movie about Abraham Lincoln salvaged only by the dynamite performance of Daniel Day-Lewis, and a handful of mediocrity (A.I. Artificial Intelligence, Catch Me If You Can, The Terminal, Amistad, Jurassic Park: The Lost World). So why wouldn’t he latch onto something that has a rabid audience? And Richard Donner? Four Lethal Weapon films and a series of bombs including 16 Blocks, Assassins and Timeline. Even if Chris Columbus, who has had his ups (Gremlins, Only the Lonely) and downs (mostly as a director – RentPercy Jackson and the Lightning Thief) comes back to write the script, I just don’t know how the recipe that worked so well is recreated. To me, this is a film that never needed a sequel at all. I know Goonies Never Say Die, but damn it, I wish the powers that be would tell this project to die and go away. I wrote this about the merits of the film and why it still resonates almost 30 thirty years later.

If it does come off, and Sean Astin says he’ll bet his children on the fact that it will, then I will see it. I will pay only a matinee price, though. And I reserve the right to skewer it further upon seeing it. In the off chance it is actually good, I will admit that. I still maintain that no sequel is necessary and the integrity of the original is what DonnerSpielberg, Columbus and any of the original cast that return are all betting with. Seems like a bad bet to me.

Rant over.